The Science behind ‘Flipping Your Lid’

Our brains really are marvellous things, it is the control centre to our body that keeps us alive. As well as survival our brains help us to understand the world around us, it allows us to have experiences through our senses, feelings and actions. Our brains can be a little troublesome however, when we are faced with stressful situations, we feel angry or anxious. This because when the parts of the brain are working together in harmony, we are able to remain calm in stressful situations, however, when the lower part of the brain becomes overwhelmed, the thinking part of our brain can disconnect, which means we can temporally lose control of our actions, hence the saying ‘flipping your lid.” 

The reasons why we flip our lid, is because the brain feels like we are in danger, even if there isn’t actually any danger present. Which does often result in us acting our and often acting without thinking. These reactions are normal as the brain is essentially trying to keep us safe. 

So, when your little humans are having a full-on meltdown, it is important to remember that at that point they are not in control. Their emotional brain has fully taken over and any other reasoning has taken a backseat. They feel threatened and they will be unable to calm down until the threat is managed. They will act out, which potentially could lead to more trouble, but try to remember when in these situations, what your child may be experiencing is normal and out of their control. 

By having a basic awareness of how our brains work, does help adults and children communicate and manage these strong emotions as they understand that their brains are responding to triggers. Three parts of the brain are impacted when experiencing stress and intense emotions, so being aware of these parts will provide opportunities to recognise what is happening and to help adults and children accept that there isn’t anything wrong with them when their lids are flipping. 

Dan Siegal’s hand model is a fantastic approach to helping adults and children understand the brain structure and to visualise what is happening in the brain when we are flipping our lids. Below is an example of Dan Siegal’s hand model which explains how each part of the brain works. There are also some fantastic videos on YouTube that break this down into bitesize chunks for you! 

So just remember, when you’re overwhelmed and wanting to scream and shout, it is a natural response. And remember, when your little person is throwing a tantrum or behaving in a challenging way, they aren’t in control of themselves and again they are responding to threat. I will share with you some tips and trick for working through a flipped lid, but today I’ll leave you with the science, as I don’t want to flip any lids by overloading you with information!